I gave up trying before Donkey
Kong and Mario became hits. Since then, I've only played a few
computer based games, like Tetris, Prince of Persia and card
games, and P of P was the old DOS version. Yet there I was, only
days after watching the heinous world of Liberty City unfold
before me, buying my own PS2 and one solitary game - GTA3.
Now, several months later, with some modest help here and there
from cheat codes, I stand at Catalina's gateway, 1 mission away
from at least finishing the major boss missions. When I began,
I couldn't steer a car for my life - or my character's. I was
so bad at it, I spent most of my first few weeks just running
around on foot, exploring much of Portland. From the get-go,
I was obsessed with finding an early way off the island, however,
and prodded my nephew to try and figure out a way to jump the
busted Callahan Bridge. At that point, little did I know of,
or even think to look for, cheat codes that could turn a car
into a missile capable of hurtling across the great divide between
the islands.
Finally, as my nephew progresed through the missions, far ahead
of me, he led me to the code websites. I was first to figure
out how to jump the bridge, but by then he didn't need to. I
know purists will deride or even decry, let alone disdain any
accomplishments attained vai cheat codes, but let me tell you,
even using some of them, some missions remained killers to the
less endowed like me. I really lucked out on the Turismo for
example, after knocking two of the racers out, the third somehow
knocked himself out. All the eight tanks I cheated into position
to block their getting out of the bridge plaza had done NOTHING,
nada, zippo! I still had to go after them; they had eventually
climbed right over the tank wall.
The remaining minor boss missions are still a big hurdle for
me; I don't think I'll ever drive well enough to pick up all
El Burro's stupid magazines, and I can't drive and chew gum at
the same time, let alone drive and shoot, so the 1st D-Ice mission
may be my last. Like 98% of players, if not more, Mr. Whoopee
was my last delivery to the export garage. He was my first goal
after the Shorevale bridge opened and I spent countless cyber
days waiting in driveways to ambush one in Cedar Grove. Finally
"one day" I'm heading to Wichita Gardens to save the
game and quit and I'm heading over the dam bridge when I say
to myself, "Oh what the hell. Let's take a run through Cedar
Grove and maybe I'll..." and what do you think rolls right
past me? Of course, like busses and trains and women going to
the ladies room, Mr. Whoopees all seem to come one after the
other in groups. All in all, it was easir driving the Dodo over
to Portland, and that's saying alot.
Okay. Enough of my relative ignorance and rehashing of things
everyone knows already. On to the requisite favorite links, my
nascent collection of "Blue Hell" discoveries, and
a few insights I now feel qualified to expound upon. |
What
can I say? I've become addicted to a video game in my early old
age. I watched my nephew playing GTA 3 on his Playstation 2 one
day and muttered incessantly to my sister about what a horrible
game it was for him to be playing; so full of mindless violence,
sexual innuendo and whatnot. And I'm sitting there in his room,
watching, and before I know it I'm transfixed, by the graphics,
and the cityscape and mostly by the idea of just roaming around
this cyber world exploring.